Mystery writing in Y6

By Miss Mattocks on Wednesday, January 20, 2016 in English. 1 Comment

Over the last few weeks, year 6 have been looking at mystery stories. We had been particularly intrigued by a book called The Watertower by Gary Crew, its actually a picture book, but the pictures tell so much of the story.

watertower-gary-crew-paperback-cover-art

What the book doesn’t tell us is what happens to Bubba- one of the main characters- when Spike has headed back to the house. On Spike’s return, Bubba has changed and doesn’t seem himself, so we have been working on writing the missing extract.

Below are some short extracts from some of our writing, we have been working particularly hard on ensuring that we include:

  • short sentences to create tension
  • ellipses to encourage the reader to read on
  • well chosen adjectives used sparingly
  • figurative language
  • commas, brackets or dashes to add additional information or detail

But our main aim was to ensure that our readers finish feeling tense, or even scared. How does our writing make you feel?

“A long, dark shadow craned over me. My heart raced- my fingers numb from trembling. I couldn’t move. My feet were fixed to the ground.”  By Thea

“The grass spikes,” I whispered, they had moved. They were closer. I blinked. Closer. I blinked again. Closer. They were inches away. I dared not to blink, they were too close. Too close…” By Alice R

“I shuddered. The ladder was long, steep and wet. My hands were gripping onto the rungs for dear life, holding on carefully so that I wouldn’t fall… I looked around the deserted tank- it was silent. I thought I could make out the silhouette of a man, his short stubby hair and baggy shirt.” By Tara

“I screamed. The faint outline of an old man, beard trailing, eyes drooping, arms folded over hi sthin, rib showing, frail chest crept towards me, slowly and deliberately. Hands shaking, legs trembling, I got to my feet, panic-stricken and afraid. The shabby, aged figure leant in towards me…” By Megan

“I stifled a scream. Hands were clutched on my shoulders then whipped me around. There were five or six of them standing in front of me, teeth bared, like tigers about to pounce.” By Jess J

“I reached the top of the Watertower and helplessly tumbled into the murky, green waters below. As soon as my limp form smacked into the water, I came back to my senses. But it was too late, I was sucked into a mighty whirlwind of water.” By Siluni

“Every single time I turned, its long tail would scatter rapidly across to one place but then it froze when I stared at it.” By Amit

 

 

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  • Mrs Richardson says:

    Scary stuff, Year 6! I’m glad I didn’t wait until bedtime to read these; I wouldn’t have slept.